Slap the butt and after the third wave you enter… Pročitajte više

We hadden een goed gesprek, konden het goed met elkaar vinden, geen onderwerp was onbespreekbaar, totdat ik een opmerking maakte dat je niet beviel, toen werd je razend, ik werd zonder pardon geblokkeerd en je bleef maar posten dat ik een man ben... omdat ik iets zei wat hoogheid niet bevalt maakt mij ineens van het andere geslacht Dus nu ik onverwacht ineens een man ben, heb ik wat tips nodig van de echte mannen, hoe word ik een man? Wat maakt een man een man? Ik wil namelijk voorkomen dat nu ik een man ben, ik dan beschuldigd word een vrouw te zijn als ik ******** iets verkeerds zeg.… Pročitajte više

The anus of a blue whale can stretch to 1 meter that makes it the second biggest asshole next to you You're the biggest asshole… Pročitajte više

Have you ever seen someone and thought: I want to be responsible for your next orgasm?… Pročitajte više

Two days ago we were having sex, and while I was on top (facing him) he tried to spank me And he missed He hit his own balls so hard....… Pročitajte više

If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be that my addiction got out of hand?… Pročitajte više

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.… Pročitajte više

Guys want to make a sex tape, but cum so quick it could only be a Snapchat… Pročitajte više

People: Watch your language! Me: Oh fuck, sorry!… Pročitajte više

Never have i seen a guy online & messaged him a picture of my flaps, so why do you strange cunts send me dick pics?… Pročitajte više

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers, Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning. It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning, And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming, Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits. Cos tits can be such troublesome things When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing. And although they go well with my Bingo wings, I wish I'd looked after me tits. When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow, When it's not the s… Pročitajte više

Okay. Relationships. I’ve been single for a few years, ever since my ex got a ‘restraining order’ (who even does that?). Anyway, I think I might be ready for another, but where does one find love these days? Also I’m torn between wanting to be treated like royalty and wanting a guy chin-deep in my ass on the daily. It’d be nice to have both but I can’t find either at the minute. Can you help? I’m really nice, I wash my clout most days and I’m almost completely STI free. If you have any single guy mates, send them in to me. They must be pretty big though as my downstairs looks like a Boeing 747… Pročitajte više

Has anyone ever tried using hair straighteners on your pubes before? Well if not, DON’T. I’ve literally got third degree burns on my piss flaps and I’ve been hopping round the house for half an hour like something out of fucking Riverdance. They really should put something on the packaging saying ‘not to be used on your clout’. I’m fucking raging… Pročitajte više

So, I've got terribly sensitive skin when shaving & the fella says try that Veet stuff, you'll stay smooth for weeks......Last Friday he's away fishing, so I thought right I'll give this a shot, starts on lower legs, working upwards....wondering how I'm guna reach underneath, gets a towel, lays on floor whilst trying to spread said hair removing paste into the under regions. Fuk me - you have to be a contortionist to get it down there.....had me left tit tucked under me arm and me right one in me mouth just so I could see down there....... Leaves for said amount of time, stands in shower &… Pročitajte više